When I first started reading Ruth I felt bitter. Ruth? Her husband died and she ended up marrying an older, unattractive man in order to stay financially afloat. Is that the heroine I really wanted to follow? Okay, so that was me reading between the lines. Nowhere does it state that her soon-to-be husband was older or unattractive but Boaz praised her (Ruth 3:10) for not choosing a young attractive man, whether rich or poor.
You see, I was born again in 2017 and I had waited five years and still wasn't married. Me, a 30 something Ruth without any previous husband, I hadn’t met my Boaz. But, I heard God suggest I re-read this famous story and glean something new. I wanted to believe that after five years faithfully following God, might gain me some fast track access to my Boaz. I’d seen books and stories inspired by the romance, such as “God, Where is My Boaz?” and kept wondering the same.
“God,” I complained, almost every minute of the day. “Where is my Boaz?”
And when I finally met the men God brought to me they either didn’t want me, or didn’t quite fit the profile I had in mind: emotionally, physically or spiritually.
When I picked up this book properly for the first time, I thought God had forgotten about my desires. I saw Ruth had a heart for God. She chose to leave her town where she and her husband had lived, in pursuit of being with her mother-in-law, Naomi. Widowed and homeless, I gather from my Bible’s study notes that Ruth (and Naomi) would have been quite poor. Ruth could have gone back to her own mum.
But I wonder, she either loved Naomi so much to follow her into an unknown territory, or she didn’t want her to be alone. Either way, her servant’s heart brought Ruth to the home of her future husband Boaz, in Bethlehem. Ruth wouldn’t have known at this point that there would be any kind of future for her. So poor was she, that she went off to pick the leftover grain from a nearby field. That was a custom for the poor. There was a law at that time that said any person can collect any leftover grain that fell on the floor, even if you didn’t own the field. It was designed so the poor would still be fed. So, Ruth went scavenging in Boaz’s field. I’m sure this had to be degrading for Ruth, and possibly even Naomi.
Ultimately, Boaz saw Ruth and fell for her. Although it doesn’t say that specifically, c’mon! He noticed her, for one, “a foreigner,” and told her to stay gleaning in his field. I have a feeling he must have liked her. Ruth was widowed. If she was hurting about her circumstances, she didn’t show it in this book anyway. Instead, she degraded herself and grinded for her dollar, for her food. In just being her good self, he caught feelings. A lot of people say Boaz was a man of good heart, too. I think that’s possibly why it’s become such a well-known love story.
And soon, Naomi concocted a scheme to trap Boaz and have him take Ruth as his wife. This is the famous part where Ruth put on her best clothes and smells, and lay at his feet while he slept, a custom to display her submission as his servant. Then when Boaz saw Ruth laying there, quite shocked, she asked him for a corner of his garment and to acknowledge him as her “guardian redeemer.” i.e. Admit he was next in line to marry her and also take her fortune (land). Back then, it would be the closest relative to the deceased husband, who would marry the widowed.
Boaz, probably surprised at this, remembered he was not next in line (i.e. the guardian redeemer) and set out to find the man who was and see if he wanted to take up his duty. In a showdown, Boaz found the other guy didn’t want to keep Ruth and buy her deceased husband’s land in fear it might affect his inheritance. So, Boaz, did the good thing and married Ruth. Ruth ended up having a boy called Obed, who ended up being the ancestor all the way to Jesus. WOW.
As I read about Boaz, one thing that really stood out to me was his character. I always thought I would want to choose a man who was tall, handsome and preferably well-off. Rich enough, that I wouldn’t need to work if I wanted to be a stay-at-home mum. And focus on my not-for-profit endeavours. That was the dream.
While reading Ruth I was annoyed with God. You see, it didn’t seem like Ruth went for the “guy with the money.” Or the handsome type. Boaz praised Ruth, “You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor.” Why then did God lead me to talk about this scripture? I think he knew my heart. God did not intend for me to seek personal gain in my marriage.
That’s why I was so enraged by Ruth’s book. Sometimes, when I feel particularly troubled by my Bible reading or a teaching is often because I don’t want that lesson applied to me. I know deep down that looks, money and youth are not the keys to a lasting, or loving, marriage. Yet, my desire to have what “the world” thinks is best for me has conditioned me to want worldly things in a husband. As Jesus said of his disciples in John 17:16, “Just as I do not belong to the world, they do not belong to the world.”
So now my heart is open to God’s will for my husband, and not my own. My thinking had been muddied by that of the society and cultural influences I grew up around. God’s role in my life lately has been to upgrade my wrong thinking to His. He sees where my wrong thinking has caused me to choose partners based on old desires. And he sees what would really make me feel good. It’s not: money, status, or power. It’s not a six pack, tattoos or a tan. It’s not a chiselled jaw or symmetrical features. While there is nothing wrong with having these, it’s not the aim.
If you’re single, and looking for a partner, ask God to reveal Him to you. Ask God to show you where you might need to change your worldly thinking, to match His. Don’t run off with the best looking, or richest man. Be more like Ruth.
Seek God with all your heart.
And let Him show you His too.
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